Things seen and a big nose

I’ve decided to begin a series within my blog called “Things Seen in NYC”. For those of you who are already familiar with the oddities of the city, I hope this will serve as a catalyst for more sharing of these bizarre and yet all too predictable instances. For those of you who are Texans, Southerners (I make a distinction because apparently Texans don’t like to be identified as Southerners), and non-Americans, I hope these stories manage to educate, shock, and amaze you. My readers who are New Yorkers will, I believe, find this highlighting of the most bizarre of our city more reason to be further endeared to it. I expect you will read my observations, shake your heads, roll your eyes, and secretly find yourselves a bit happier that you dwell in this city. My readers who live their lives elsewhere will most likely find this same highlighting reason to be grateful that they live in the suburbs, or in quaint and charming towns that have character without the dangerous and wacky elements of New York City. Without further ado…

Things Seen in NYC: Edition 1
Every morning I have a small discussion with myself as the local 6 train pulls into the 125th Street station. I have the option to remain on the 6 – where I have a guaranteed seat – as it rolls through each of the dozen stops to 33rd Street. Or, if I’m short on time, I may cross the platform at 125th to catch the express train, where I will be forced to stand crushed between an old woman smelling of mothballs and an MTA employee coming off the night shift whose orange uniform vest is covered in whatever rank substance lines the walls of the subway tunnels. However, if I take the express I do have to get off at Grand Central, and wait for the local to pick me up and take me one stop further. So, as the 6 rolls up to the platform at 125th, I quickly collect information – the time, the room in the local vs. the room in the express car, etc. – and make my decision. Today I switched to the express, mostly because it was there when the 6 arrived and because I thought I had a good chance of getting a seat. Which I did. Right across from a person who caught my attention initially because I couldn’t decide whether it was a man or a woman. The face and hair hinted towards the female option, but the long torso, large hands and broad shoulders made me doubt. Throughout the ride I continued a close inspection of this person, trying to make my final decision. During one of my examinations, I noticed the cover of the book the gender-undefined person was reading. The paperback cover was brightly colored and caught my eye, though I couldn’t quite make it out. A few minutes later the person shifted, and the front cover of the book was clearly displayed. BIKER Chick was the title – scrawled in bright red font above a picture of a girl in lingerie straddling a large red and chrome motorcycle – presented by Urban Books. Needless to say this didn’t offer any clarity to my dilemma, and by the time we got to 33rd Street I still didn’t have the gender of the person figured out, and was forced to just accept the mystery as one of those things you see in New York.

On a different note... one of my favorite little boys in the whole world recently did a photo shoot for an advertisement for Vicks (as in, the common cold medicine). Last night I saw him for the first time in a couple of months, and as we were catching up, I asked him about it:

"So was it fun when the man was taking pictures of you at the playground?" (Yes, I realized as it came out my mouth how creepy this could have sounded, but my 4-year-old friend did not catch it.)

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah? I saw the one of you on the slide. Very cool."

"Yeah, I had my rockstar hair."

"You sure did. You did a great job, posing for pictures for the stuffy nose medicine."

He looked at me incredulously, his brow furrowed and his expression communicating a sense of intense disgust at my ignorance. "It wasn't for medicine, Wauren, it was for a big nose."

And I had no reply. Because to him, clearly and with good reason, the picture was indeed for a big nose...